


You Are Not Alone

by Tivaholic



Category: NCIS, tiva - Fandom
Genre: F/M, NCIS - Freeform, TIVA - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24255214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tivaholic/pseuds/Tivaholic
Summary: A different reaction from Tony following the information that Ziva slept with Adam in Israel.Following "Double Blind" 10x23.
Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	You Are Not Alone

Tony DiNozzo normally didn’t get angry too easily, but now he was almost Gibbs level angry. He walked out of interrogation and saw that Ziva was waiting for him in the elevator. He ignored her and went to walk up the stairs instead. He made it halfway and stopped. He was angry, yes, but he also had a huge pit of sadness in his heart. How could she do something like that and pretend like it never happened? He sighed and made his way up the rest of the stairs. He made it to the bullpen just now realizing he took the photo of Adam that was on the table. He noticed that Ziva was sitting at her desk, typing away like it was any other day at the office. But it wasn’t, not anymore.

He walked over and stopped at her desk. She looked up when she noticed that he was standing next to her. She knew she hurt him but she didn’t think they should talk about it at work. He looked her in the eye and all she could see was anger, sadness, and hurt. He cleared his throat and took a step forward. He had something in his hand but she couldn’t see what.

“You forgot this.” Was all he said as he set the photo of Adam on her desk. She looked down at it and closed her eyes. She hurt him more than she ever knew. She would have to make things right. But not right now, at work. Gibbs rolled into the bullpen, sensing the tension between the two agents.

“Go home. Get some rest.” Was all he said as he made his way through the bullpen and headed right towards the elevator, presumably to autopsy. Tony didn’t hesitate to gather his things and head out. He wanted to get as far away from her as he could. He was so unbelievably hurt that she could do something like this. He practically ran down the stairs and into the parking garage. They parked next to each other so he needed to hurry since he saw her making her way down too. He climbed into his 1969 mustang and drove out of the parking lot. He knew she would probably stop by his apartment to talk, but he really wasn’t in the talking mood. 

He drove around for 45 minutes just to try to clear his head and not have to go back to his apartment. He knew he would eventually have to but at the moment he denied going back at all. After an hour and a half of just driving around, he made his way back to his apartment. As he was pulling into his parking space he noticed Ziva’s Camaro in the parking spot next to his. He looked in through the window and saw that she wasn’t in her car, which meant that she was upstairs waiting for him.

He turned off the engine to his car, got out, shut the door, and locked it. He really didn’t want to talk to her right now. He didn’t even want to hear her side of it. He just wanted to be angry. He already called Gibbs and told him he was taking the day off tomorrow. Gibbs didn’t question him. He wanted to prolong his arrival as much as possible, so he took the stairs again. Which would come in handy as his apartment was on the sixth floor. 

When he did manage to make it to his apartment, Ziva wasn’t in the hallway.

‘She probably broke in.’ His thoughts were correct when he opened his door to see Ziva sitting on his couch. He ignored her and walked into his kitchen to get alcohol. If he wanted to make it through this conversation he was going to need some. 

Ziva saw him walk past her. She just sat quietly as he looked for any sort of alcohol. Her heart was racing in her chest as he was looking for a glass. He seemed to find something as he knocked that something back and winced at the taste. She stood and walked over to him, keeping a reasonable distance between them.

“Tony.” She spoke quietly. He didn’t acknowledge her, didn’t even look at her. He poured himself another drink of what looked like whiskey, into the glass, and took another swig of it. He finally looked at her, but in some ways, she wished he hadn’t. All she could see was pain and hurt. Anger and sadness. 

“What could you possibly say to me right now? I don’t want to hear I’m sorry. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I just want to be left alone.” He whispered. He was trying to hide the emotions in his voice but he was failing miserably. 

“There are no excuses Tony. What I did was a mistake. Something that never should have happened. But it did, and now I have to live with the consequences of that. I never meant to hurt you.” He looked away from her, pouring himself another glass. He knocked it back and put the bottle back into his cabinet. He didn’t need it anymore, even when he wanted it. 

He looked back up at her. She was standing there with pleading and ashamed eyes. He could feel that something wasn’t right. The way she was so defeated and ashamed of what happened. Yes he was hurt and yes he wanted to scream at her, but something was preventing him from doing so. 

‘You're in love with her you idiot. Of course, you're not going to yell at her.’

“Why him?” Ziva looked back up and hesitated. She wasn’t expecting that question, but it wasn’t totally out there.

“Because you were not there.” She answered truthfully, seeing as lying in this situation would just make it worse. She wanted him to know how much she really did care for him, how she didn’t just want to throw him away like trash. 

The look on his face looked like he had been slapped.

“I offered to be. To be there for you. I even saw you off at the airport, offering to go with you. Begging. But you said no.” He raised his voice unintentionally. She took a step back. He could see her fight or flight response working in her head, even without her looking him in the eyes. He knew her. What did Adam know about the woman she had become? Nothing. Ziva was a different person than she was when she arrived. Adam didn’t know the new Ziva, he thought he did, but he didn’t.

“I know.” 

“Then why? When I left you at that airport, I told you that you weren’t alone, in your language. So what’s your excuse? I know I said that I didn’t want to hear it, but I do. What’s your excuse?”

“You would not believe me if I told you the real reason. You will think it is an excuse when in fact it is not.” His eyes softened. He was right, something was off. Something was not as it seemed to be. 

“Try me.” Ziva sighed and suddenly found the floor very interesting. She gulped before speaking.

“I was drunk, Tony. I was not thinking straight.” Was all she said as she was afraid of the rest. Tony could sense that. He wanted to know the full story. Even though they weren’t together, he felt they were getting there, getting to where they could be a couple and be happy. He felt cheated, betrayed even.

“There’s something else. I want the full story.” She closed her eyes and stuffed her hands into her pockets. 

“I thought he was you.” She said it so quietly he couldn’t even hear her. Her chin and lip were trembling and her eyes were shining with unshed tears. 

“What?”

“I thought that he was you. I know you will not believe that, but it is the truth. I never meant for it to go as far as it did.” Tony took a step closer to her, putting his finger under her chin, lifting it so they could look each other in the eye. She had tears falling and Tony’s heart clenched.

“I am so sorry, Tony.” Tony pulled her into a hug and she attached herself to him. He was her anchor. Her rock. She never meant to hurt him in any way. She was wasted on the night of her father’s funeral. Adam had come over to check on her. She was too out of it to notice that Tony wasn’t Adam. By the time she did realize it, it was too late. The deed had been done. As soon as she realized what she had done she kicked him out of her old townhouse. Told him to never speak to her again. He took advantage of her situation. Took advantage of her when she was picturing a different person. Somebody that she loved. Somebody that she would never let go. Yet he seemed to be slipping through her fingers. 

“What happened? After?” He wanted to hear all of the details, not just some of the story. If he needed to, he would fly to Israel and kill Adam himself if he did anything to her. 

“The next morning, I realized what I had done. I kicked him out, told him to never speak to me again. He knew that I wasn’t thinking straight. He knew that I was thinking about you and not him.”

“How?”

“He said I was saying your name during. That I called for you. But he kept going.” Tony could only see red. The son of a bitch basically raped her. Manipulated her. As if Ziva could sense what he was thinking, she put her hand on his cheek, making him look at her.

“I gave him consent, Tony. It is all of my fault. He just took advantage of that. I just want to forget that it happened.” Tony nodded, he could do that. As soon as he ripped Adam a new one. 

‘Son of a bitch.’ 

“Why were you thinking of me? Especially when you were with him.” He needed to know. Needed to know if she felt the same as him. They could move forward. If only she would tell him. 

“Because I love you.” She said after seconds of silence. The tears were still falling down her face. 

“And you are the only one that I think about. The only one that I want to think about.” Tony’s heart swelled. She loved him. She felt the same as he did. 

‘Don’t just stand there, say it back.’

“I love you too, Ziva.” His eyes were now starting to swell with emotions and tears. She let out a sob at his confession, burying her head into his chest.

“How could you possibly love me when all I do is hurt you?”

“If anything, you make life better. You constantly keep me on my toes, constantly keep my head in the game, even when I don’t want to. I won’t say that you have never brought me pain, but that’s part of it. We have fought to where we are now. Fought for each other and fought for ourselves. For us. I love you, Ziva. I have for years. That isn’t going to change because you had a drunken night with some asshole. Yes, it hurt, but that doesn’t mean that my feelings will just go away. Cause they won’t. Not ever.”

“I am ready for us. I want that. I want you.” 

“I want you to. I want us. You just have to give me a chance, Ziva. I can’t keep running around like I don’t have these feelings. I just can’t anymore. I need you to give me a chance.” She nodded.

“I love you.” She said as he leaned down and captured her lips with his. When they pulled back they both had ecstatic smiles on their faces. This was the beginning of something special. Something worth fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Listened to "Hurricane" by Fleurie while writing this fic. Over and over again. Lol.
> 
> Reviews are always welcome!
> 
> Thank You!


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